December 29th 1978 Harlan was killed in a firearms accident. It was the afternoon, I heard about it an hour later. I went numb, I don’t know what I said or if I even said anything. I remember that I didn’t cry, not then anyways. When John died I spoke with many people from my church that let me know that if John wasn’t fully invested in Christ he was bound for hell. There was no doubt in my mind that Harlan wasn’t fully or even partially invested in Christ. I remember my sister telling me it was ok to cry, but I was in shock.
The funeral parlor was long and narrow, filled with folding chairs in the center and some pew like couches on the side walls towards the front of the room. I don’t remember going there, I was just there. I walked to the front of the room, it was Randall I saw first, he grabbed my hand and pulled me down closer to him. He reached up and grabbed me by the back of the head and pulled my head next to his. His grip was very strong from years in the wheelchair. He cried, so did I.
Harlan’s Dad was a professed atheist, as far as I know he was never interested in thinking about God, that was changing. Harlan’s Dad pulled me close to him in the only embrace we ever had. His eyes were filled with tears, there was nothing to say. I can’t remember anything he said, but I knew he was remembering all the years Harlan and I played together.
I remember my Dad and Harlan’s Dad talking about God that day. I remember that he couldn’t believe this was the end, that there was no meaning to life, that death was the end. I was proud of my Dad that day as he spoke, about God being a God of hope and a God of love. It’s funny but as Harlan’s Dad was choosing to believe in God, I was beginning to reject him.
Harlan’s Dad wrote the epitaph on his headstone it reads: Went to sleep in Jesus in the setting of the sun.
I think that above all else, we expect God to make things fair and right. When our sense of justice is violated we feel let down by God. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in your series.
Posted by: Brian Marquis | January 03, 2007 at 10:34 AM